The Roles & Responsibilities of all Attendants
A perfect wedding require assistance from everyone
involved from the bride and groom to the familites. Here are some to consider.
 The Bride:
These are things the Bride must take care of:
- Wedding Ring for the groom (if it's a double ring
ceremony).
- Groom's wedding gift.
- Attendant's presents.
- Personal Stationery.
- Accommodations for her out-of-town attendants.
The Groom's Responsibilities
- The Bride's Ring.
- Wedding Gift for the bride.
- The Marriage License.
- Gifts for his attendants.
- Flowers: Bride's bouquet, corsages for the mothers,
boutonnieres for the men.
- Accommodations for the best man and ushers if they are
from out-of-town.
- Gloves, ties, or ascots for the male attendants.
- Fee for the clergy.
- Honeymoon.
- The bachelor dinner or party (yet usually arranged by the
Best Man and friends.
The Groom's Checklist
- Six Months to a Year Before The Wedding:
- Buy the engagement ring.
- With yourfiancee, agree upon the size and type of wedding
you would like to have.
- Visit the clergy with youfiancee to set the date and time
of the ceremony.
- Choose your best man and ushers, and advise them of your
choice of attire for the wedding.
- Draw up a guest list with your parents.
- Three to Six Months Before Your Wedding:
- Buy the wedding band for your future bride.
- Arrange accommodations for your attendants, your family
and close friends.
- Start planning your honeymoon and discuss destinations
with yourfiancee. Once you decide, go ahead with the reservations and take advantage of
early reservation bookings.
- One Month Before Your Wedding:
- Pick up the wedding band.
- Assist yourfiancee with the rehearsal dinner arrangements.
- Along with your attendants, go for tuxedo fittings.
- Reserve your rehearsal dinner location, include immediate
members of both families, the wedding party, spouses and close friends if possible.
- Book hotel accommodations for your attendants who may be
coming from out-of-town, and reserve a block of rooms for out-of-town guests.
- One Week Before Your Wedding:
- Double check your honeymoon plans
- Begin packing for your honeymoon.
The Bride's Family
- The entire cost of the reception: food (including wedding
cake), beverages, gratuities for bartenders, waiters, decorations, music and flowers.
- Wedding gift for the newlywed couple.
- The bride's wedding attire and personal trousseau.
- The wedding invitations, insertions, announcements, and
mailing costs.
- The fee for wedding photographs.
- Ceremony: fees for organists, soloists or choir and
sexton. Aisle carpets if utilized, and / or canopy and any other additional costs for
decoration.
- Bridesmaids' bouquets.
- Gratuities to police directing traffic and any charges for
car parking.
- Transportation for the bridal party from the bride's home
to ceremony and reception.
- Bridesmaid's luncheon.
- Optional: Rehearsal dinner if the groom's family is not in
a position to cover this cost. Today, however, both the bride and groom and their
families decide together who is going to pay for what cost.
The Groom's Family
- Clothes for the wedding.
- Any traveling expenses and hotel bills they incur.
- Wedding gift for the bride and groom.
- The rehearsal dinner.
- Any other expenses they elect to assume (optional).
Responsibilities of Best Man
The Best Man is the right hand to the Groom. As such, he
has more responsibilities than other attendants. Among his duties are the following:
- To see that the groom is properly dressed. This is, of
course, assuming that the groom is so nervous that he will undoubtedly overlook a few
dressing details.
- Be certain to receive the clergyman's fee in a sealed
envelope from the groom. Some time after the ceremony, the best man is obliged to hand it
privately to the clergyman.
- Carry the wedding ring to the ceremony in a secure place.
- Make sure that the ushers are on call before the ceremony
is scheduled to start.
- Perform all errands that the groom or the bride's mother
may request.
- Before leaving for the ceremony, help the groom pack his
clothes for the honeymoon. See to it that the groom's bags are taken to the point of
departure. This is generally done before the ceremony.
There is usually only one person whose nerves are just a
bit more jumpy than those of the bride...the groom! The jitters affect him, too, as the
big day approaches. Fortunately, the groom's wedding attendants - the Best Man and ushers-
are on hand to help take the edge off his prenuptial nervousness.
The bachelor's party is traditionally the time set aside for the groom and his closest
friends to sit back and take a deep breath before the ceremony. It should be held a few
days before the wedding to avoid the possibility of hangovers on the morning of the big
event. It is most often the best man who arranges the bachelor's party, although the groom
himself can make the arrangements. Any close male friends - married or single- should be
invited.
The night of the party is an appropriate time for the groom to distribute the gifts to the
ushers and best man. The groom should toast the bride to start off the evening's revelry.
The Best Man should be on hand early enough on the wedding day to help the groom dress for
the ceremony and pack for thehoneymoon.He should also take charge of such essentials as
the wedding ring and marriage license, which will be his responsibility to produce later
that day. The best man also takes charge of the ushers, making sure they understand their
duties.
The Maid or Matron of Honour
It has long been customary that this honour should be
given either to the sister of the bride or groom or the best friend of the bride. Whether
it be a formal or informal affair, this role is always filled. The maid of honour has
several duties to perform at the wedding. First, when a double ring ceremony is to be
held, she is responsible to bring the groom's ring to the ceremony.
At the altar, the maid of honour holds the bride's
bouquet and assists her with the veil and train after the ceremony. She is also to be in
the receiving line and help the bride in any way possible, When the bride changes from her
wedding attire to her going-away out-fit, the maid of honour should help.
The costume of the maid of honour and the bridesmaids
should follow the same motif as set by the bride. The head-dress and the flowers will be
different, however, sometimes the variation is only colour.
The Bridesmaids
The main function of the bridesmaids is to add colour and
background to the wedding rites. The number of bridesmaids is a personal choice. There may
be as many as twelve.
When it's time to throw the Bouquet & Garter. . . the
bridesmaids pass the word to all single women to gather at a strategic spot.
Traditionally, the bride turns and tosses the bouquet over her shoulder. Then the groom
removes the blue satin garter from the bride's leg and throws it to the single ushers and
bachelors in the audience. Often the bride throws a small throw-away bouquet made for this
tradition. At this time she presents her main bouquet to her mother.
The Attendants Own Responsibilities
- Their own wedding clothes
- Any traveling expenses they may incur.
- Gift for the couple.
- Optional: A bridesmaid alone or together might want to give a shower for the bride or
the couple. The same is true of the groom's attendants giving the bachelor dinner.
The Ushers and their Responsibilities
- The ushers should arrive at the church one hour before the
ceremony.
- As each female guest arrives, an usher offers his right
arm and escorts her to her seat on either the bride's (left) or groom's (right) side of
the church.
- The head usher escorts first the groom's mother, then the
bride's mother, to the front left and right pews, respectively.
The number of ushers is dependent directly on the size of
the wedding. Anywhere from two to twelve can be present. Here are some pointers to
remember.
- Ushers are expected to put in an appearance at least one
hour before the ceremony.
- Where certain guests have been given reserved seats at the
church, the ushers should be given a list. If unknown guests arrive, the ushers can
request their names and seat them according to their relationship, on either the bride's
or the groom's side.
- All ushers should stand at the door of the church. As each
feminine guest arrives, one of the ushers offers his right arm and escorts her to her
seat.
- All front pews on the left side of the church are reserved
for the bride's family, the right for the groom's family.
The Master of Ceremonies
Following are some guidelines for choosing the most
suitable person for this very important role and tips to ensure a fun and memorable
reception:
- A good friend or relative of the family, who, preferably
is not in the wedding party.
- Someone who is in his or her element when speaking to a
group of people.
- Someone who has the time and is willing to share it with
both the Bride and Groom in preparing for his or her role as M.C. on your Special Day.
This could take from 10 to 24 hours.
- Any non-member of the family, whose style of speaking you
like.
- A duo; husband and wife team, or brother and sister, who,
when in company, are lots of fun to be with and enjoy entertaining friends through
dialogue and a clean sense of humour.
- If you have difficulty with your selection, check with
your local chapter of Toastmaster's International, or The Wedding M.C. Speakers Bureau.
You may find someone you know who is a member of either of these organizations. Otherwise,
they can provide you with names of members whom you may wish to interview for this role.
Discuss the fees for this service, before you enter into any firm agreement.
- You should provide your M.C. with the full schedule of
events, times and dates. For example, you may wish to invite her / him to your rehearsal.
A good M.C. will gather information, in addition to what you provide. This will be used as
an element of surprise during the reception to both the bride and groom and their families
-minor incidents ( and major ones too), which you or members of your party may have passed
over, ignored, or hoped that no one remembered!
- You should provide your M.C. with some background material
about both Bride and Groom and you should allow private consultations with family members,
friends and sometimes co-workers, who can provide your M.C. with some historical events in
your lives which can be of great interest to your guests. This material does not need to
be all of a frivolous or funny nature, but can include more serious matters such as
achievements in work, sport, education or awards in any field of endeavour.
- It would be advantageous for your M.C. to meet with all of
the persons who are proposing toasts at your wedding, thus ensuring that certain
information is not duplicated. This will prevent someone from ruining the
"punch-line" of someone else's speech which might have taken some time and
effort to prepare.
- You will provide your M.C. with all pre-meal announcements
and evening dance programs etc. You may wish your disc jockey or band leader to take over
from your M.C. once the dancing has begun.
This has been just a brief over-view of the importance of
selecting a good M.C. for your wedding. For further information you may wish to consult
the following publication available at your library and bookstores: The Wedding M.C.,
How to M.C. and Speak at Weddings, a Step by Step Guide: by BrianC.Lee. |
